Our Emotional Evolution As Men
All of us have pain in our past. We each have a story that is trapped beneath years of protection, under lock and key, so deep inside us that many of us have forgotten it exists. We are taught at a young age that when we show vulnerability or weakness we are attacked, laughed at or humiliated. In order to survive and escape our pain we develop armor and masks. This armor protects our wounds, our insecurities and our weaknesses with intelligence, strength, competitiveness, success, achievement, dominance and power. We not only ignore our pain but are reinforced by society with ideas that we should be strong, powerful and dominant and this encourages even thicker armor and deeper masks. We learn to achieve success and mastery in external areas such as; business/career, athletics, social status, health/fitness, relationships and finances through these masks and armor in an attempt to ignore our pain.
As we go through life we fall in love. We fall in love with dreams and who we will be when we accomplish them. We fall in love with a partner and our future. We fall in love with our career and the significance it gives us. We fall in love with our health and fitness and the power it gives us. We fall in love with our children or pets and the love we receive from taking care of them.
Yet, with love comes loss. The dream doesn’t happen or things don’t work out the way we planned. The partnership falls apart. Our business fails. We are fired or something takes our career away. We get older and our body changes. We experience health challenges. We lose our pets or children or even the possibility to reproduce.
The loss triggers the feelings of past failures and up comes the armor. We deny the pain and instead we move into our heads and use our intelligence, strength, competitiveness, success, achievement, dominance and power to move through the loss. We are reinforced with the thought that we are strong men who will not feel weakness and let vulnerability take us down. We have been conditioned our entire lives with the idea that this is what strong men do. Strong men are not weak, vulnerable, cry or feel pain. Strong men handle things… period.
We show people that we are strong, dominant, successful leaders in our communities but on the inside something always feels a bit off–like we are at an 8 or 9 and something is keeping us from achieving that 10. Almost like a heavy cloud we can never get away from so we tell ourselves that another achievement or success will fill the void. Yet, each time we achieve it… it feels good for a moment and then it comes back again. We try to numb ourselves through substance, porn, workaholism, distraction, achievement, helping others and by being busy. We continue to repeat similar patterns of self sabotage over and over again. We attract the same partners, lovers, and circumstances. Yet, we never ask for help because it would show weakness. Instead, we isolate because we don’t know how to figure ourselves out and it drives us crazy. We would rather keep our pride, our dignity, our masks and our armor and let things burn down around us than feel weak and deal with the pain.
Or at least this was my story. Since I had done twenty years of personal development and even worked directly with Tony Robbins, I thought I had everything figured out. I was wrong. Every time I would burn things down in my life, I would turn back to personal development. I kept repeating the same patterns and attracting the same people over and over again. All I could do was rinse and repeat because, in all actuality, I hadn’t figured it out. I was unconsciously numbing myself through work addictions, porn, substance and women. I felt that if I could achieve success it would make everything ok. Yet, that never fixed anything.
Loss was no stranger to me. I had been heartbroken, cheated on, lied to, abused as a child and had many close friends die. Athletics and sports taught me how to be resilient by pushing through physical pain and I thought I could use that same strategy by pushing away the guilt and shame from my brother’s death. I had convinced myself that I had healed my pain through working directly with Tony Robbins, 6 years of forgiveness ceremonies at Burning Man, and even through countless Ayahuasca and San Pedro ceremonies.
It wasn’t until I interviewed a man named Ken Druck for my documentary, Grief to Grace, that I realized I had actually been suppressing my pain rather than dealing with it. The insights I gained from Ken were so clear that it made me realize that I couldn’t run anymore and it forced me to come face to face with my traumas. After years of isolating, I finally was more at peace than I had ever felt. It was almost as if I had thawed by allowing myself to love the parts of my past that I could not fix. In finally allowing myself to feel, my body finally felt heard and seen. I experienced ecstatic joy, happiness, peace and the feeling of ultimate freedom. By learning to be gentle with myself and love the things I could not fix, I was finally free.
It was at that moment that I felt guided to help others experience the same peace. I developed the Mastering Freedom retreats to help others find their way back to their hearts in a group setting over the course of 90 days versus the years it took me. I invite you to join us in letting down your armor and masks in order to find the peace you crave so deeply. Join 10 other men Sep 27 – 30th away from distractions. Clean out the stacks of emotional traumas that you cannot fix and that you have been trying to run from. They need to be loved and felt so that we can be better men, lovers, fathers, partners and leaders for ourselves, our families and our communities. Join us to make peace with ourselves, our past, our wounds, our insecurities, our losses & our pain. We do this together as men. As strong, powerful & courageous men.
"All men die. But not all men really live."
This is for you if you are a man who:
Is ready to stop suppressing, numbing and avoiding his emotions and is ready to truly FEEL.
Is ready to stop shutting down, exploding or isolating.
Desiring a deeper level of emotional freedom in your life & relationships.
Deals with emotional trauma on a regular basis.
Has been through emotional trauma at any point in your life.
Feel deep down that your heart is in need of healing.
Is looking for clarity in one or multiple areas in your life.
Repeats the same damn self sabotage patterns over and over again.
Are craving a fellowship of brothers who you can trust to hold you accountable.
Are craving a fellowship of brothers who challenge you to level up.
Are craving a fellowship of brothers who you respect and who respect you in return.
Is seeking freedom and peace with yourself like never before.
Is seeking an experience of unconditional love for yourself & others.
Is seeking tools to deal with loss, heartbreak & life’s greatest tragedies.
Desires or is open to deep forgiveness of any self judgement or self abuse.
First Responders (firemen, policemen, doctors, therapists).
Achievers (entrepreneurs, athletes, alpha men).
Activate Your Full PotentialSchedule Your Complimentary Consultation
Next Event: Thursday, October 24 everyone arrives Thursday night to enjoy dinner and get to know each other. We start Friday morning at 8 am and the event goes through Sunday October 27th at 3 pm.
Location: Idyllwild, CA in a luxurious cabin in the woods that sleeps up to 20
Logistics: This event includes lodging, food & event materials. (Travel not included)
Experience: Join 10 Men as we step into nature for a weekend to create a deeper sense of freedom and peace in our lives.
Weekly Live Zoom Calls:
In order to integrate our experiences it’s very important we have follow up over a 90 day period after the retreat.
Pick something to massively level up your life.
Share your wins
Share your struggles
Get feedback from men who care about helping you to level up.